Christopher Mahoney's Onyx Sun Blog

Sonoma County Book Festival

2011-10-02T11:08:00.000-07:00

I had a great day last weekend exhibiting at the Sonoma County Book Festival. First of all, it was warm, which being from San Francisco is a very acceptable change. Next, I was pleasantly surprised by how many people there were and how open they were to hearing about the exhibitors' wares.

About 40 people stopped by my booth. By the end of the day, I think I had explained my book so many times I could have done it in my sleep.

The few moments where there wasn't a visitor, I spent my time talking with my boothmate, Ezra Barany, who is the most light-hearted and friendly person I've met recently. At the end of the day, we exchanged books. So I picked up a copy of The Torah Codes ("a Jewish DaVinci Code") which I look forward to reading. I also met a woman named Margaret Murray, who has written an existential story called Sundagger.net. I haven't started it yet, but I'm looking forward to reading more!

Of course, no great book festival would be complete without a visit at the end to a local brewery. So my wife Kim and I slid over Russian River Brewing Company, where a beer and pizza bites put a cap on a great day!

Kalamazoo!

Christopher

Exhibiting at the Sonoma County Book Festival!

2011-09-09T06:39:00.000-07:00

It's been a while since I posted as I've been pretty busy traveling abroad for work and just plain working (not to mention dodging hurricanes in the Outer Banks for a friend's wedding last week and training for my third triathlon. Pic from my last one to the left.)

So, I'm excited to finally have something new and book-related to post. I'll be attending and exhibiting at the Sonoma County Book Festival on September 24, 2011 in Santa Rosa, CA.

If you're in the area, I'll have a booth at the event and will be offering signed hardcovers of The Incredible Origins of the Onyx Sun. Come by and say hi. It's my brother's birthday that day too, which is a funny coincidence, and I'll be offering a 30% discount to mark the day.

In other book news, The Midwest Book Review gave my first book a nice review, saying it is "a fun entry into a brand new youth science fictionseries, highly recommended!" although I wish they would have recognized it is more of an adventure novel set in space than true sci-fi. But that's a small point to quibble over. Thanks for the kind words MBR!

I also offered a free giveaway of my final paperback advance review copies on Goodreads.com. Although I only listed 150 books, I got over 1,100 requests! That was pretty exciting. I hope those who won them enjoy them as they are a rarefied version of my book now. I originally printed over 1,000 of them, gave about 700 away to kids, schools, and industry press and now only have about 50 left after the latest giveaway. If you were one of the winners, keep sending me your emails as feedback is key to me evolving the Onyx Sun series!

Lastly, since we're on the topic of the series, I have gotten a number of inquiries over the last few months about Book 2: The Wicked Adversaries of the Onyx Sun. Yes, I am working on it. I've got about 70 pages written so far and continue to chip away at it a few pages at a time. I did take a brief break to write a different novel - another book for younger readers but geared more firmly toward the YA crowd. Now that is done and out to agents for consideration, I am back to working on the Onyx Sun Book 2, while I promote Book 1.

Thanks again to all you who have supported me, sent letters from your children or students, or bought a book. I am much encouraged by all your positive support, words, and feedback.

Kalamazoo!

Christopher

Midwest Book Review Covers the Onyx Sun!

2011-06-16T11:15:00.000-07:00

I just found out about another nice review from a well-known industry publication, The Midwest Book Review. MBR covers mainly independent books like mine. So even though The Incredible Origins of the Onyx Sun is right on target for the kinds of books they look for, I wondered for a while after I submitted my novel if they'd cover it.

Thankfully, a few months later I did a random Google search and found out they had! Here's what they had to say:

The Incredible Origins of the Onyx Sun
Christopher Mahoney
Privately Published
9780979520259, $19.95, www.onyxsun.com

Being one of the youngest astronauts ever sounds cool, until the inevitable evil buts its head intothe picture. "The Incredible Origins of the Onyx Sun" follows Zack Goodspeed as he embraces hiswildest dreams becoming part of a new generation of space explorers. But there may be trouble inhis voyage to the moon, and it's up to Zack to act fast before his first mission turns into a disaster."The Incredible Origins of the Onyx Sun" is a fun entry into a brand new youth science fictionseries, highly recommended.

http://www.midwestbookreview.com/cbw/jun_11.htm#Fantasy/SciFi

Kalamazoo!

Christopher

Publisher's Weekly Glows About the Onyx Sun!

2010-05-28T04:43:00.000-07:00

One of the great benefits of making it to the semifinals of the Amazon Breakthrough Novel Awards contest is that your manuscript gets attention from some serious industry players. This is both nerve-wracking and exciting as you learn that Penguin editors and Publisher's Weekly will be reading your whole story.

So, it was with a tremendous amount of relief when I read the following from Publisher's Weekly about my book:

"This space adventure yarn has the right stuff. Zack Goodspeed’s unusual grandfather, Professor Goodspeed, is an adorable nutty genius who lives next door and whose garage has been transformed into a laboratory where he’s invented, among other things, a small black cube called the Onyx Sun, which is “a source of unlimited power.” One night, soon after he has shown Zack the Onyx Sun, the professor disappears into the woods. Zack and his neighbor, Angelina “Max” Maximillian, follow him and discover a tree that opens up to an elevator that leads to the center of the earth, where the Onyx Pioneer, an enormous spaceship invented by his grandfather and powered by the Onyx Sun, is docked in preparation for its colonization mission to the moon. Zack and Max stowaway on the ship and quickly discover that the evil Dr. Machvel plans to steal the Onyx Sun and use its power for destruction. Together with their new friend, Sanjay, they work to foil Dr. Machvel’s quest for domination. The fast-paced novel keeps the reader engaged throughout. The main characters are nicely done, the plot is exciting, and there’s a clear jumping off point for a sequel, which young sci-fi fans would surely look forward to."

Exciting to see a respected member of the writing community enjoy my book. It feels validating after four years and almost a thousand hours of work.

Now, if I could just find an agent and a publisher...

Kalamazoo!

Christopher

Onyx Sun Reaches Semifinals of Amazon Breakthrough Novel Awards

2010-05-25T06:19:00.000-07:00

I can announce this now that I know where I stand.

After months of watching my book climb from a general submission, to making the first cut, to being a quarterfinalist, to finally reaching the semifinals, I at last know where I stand.

It is with mixed emotions I learned today that Amazon has selected the finalists for their 2010 Breakthrough Novel Awards. And although the first Onyx Sun book made it from a field of 5,000 entrants to only 50 Semifinalists, it will not be proceeding to the finals.

I'm very proud of my book, especially considering it is my first. To reach the top 1% of submissions is an achievement beyond what I expected. But I have to admit, as much as I tried not to, I was already visualizing flying to Seattle for the finals.

Ah well. My thanks goes out to Amazon for running such an amazing contest, Publisher's Weekly for their upbeat and positive review, and to the members of the community for reading and voting on my submission.

Kalamazoo!

Christopher

Onyx Sun Wins a Writer's Digest Honorable Mention!

2010-05-23T19:06:00.000-07:00

I got this news a couple of months ago, but since I am getting back into blogging, I thought I'd include it since it is exciting news...

The Incredible Origins of the Onyx Sun has won an Honorable Mention in the 17th Annual Writer's Digest Self-Published Book Awards!

I sent a copy of my hardcover book, complete with the final artwork and exclusive Epilogue, to Writer's Digest almost a year ago. Of the hundreds of submissions, only three books were selected in the Middle-Grade/Young Adult category for Honorable Mentions.

I couldn't be more excited!

You will see the announcement of the award in the March/April 2010 issue or you can check it out online here. I've also included a scan of the page with my book on it in this post.

Kalamazoo!

Christopher

New Onyx Sun Web Site

2010-05-22T05:41:00.000-07:00

What better way to commemorate my recent writing contest success, which I will announce in a day or two, than to launch a new web site too!

The new version of the onyxsun.com web site is finally live! I've wanted to update it for a while as the last version had a few distinct flaws. The new site:

Loads faster
Has the navigation more accessibly located at the top
Takes up less screen space "before the fold" so people can see the content below the splashy graphics without having to scroll
Has a highlight box on the right for recent announcements
Integrates more Feedburner services so I can provide dynamic information easier, like updates from my blog!

I built web sites like this one for the last fourteen years (since 1996! yikes!), and I always like to watch how sites evolve. At the end of each iteration, I always remember being happy with the end product. Yet, as I learn the site's flaws and architect a new iteration, I look back and wonder how I could possibly have been happy with the previous version. I guess innovation is a ceaseless process like that!

Anyway, here are some screengrabs of each version from v1 on the top to the most recent on the bottom. You can also visit the new real deal online of course at www.onyxsun.com.

Kalamazoo!

Christopher

I'm Back!

2010-05-20T05:11:00.000-07:00

It's been a looooong time since I updated my blog, but that doesn't mean I haven't been busy working away on the Onyx Sun when I can. I have and because of that, there is quite a lot to update you on.

Basically, I went silent over a year ago - ironically right around the time my book was finally published - since I joined Sony PlayStation and found myself quite busy helping to get a new business unit off the ground. That didn't leave much time, even on the nights or weekends, after 60+ hour weeks to work on my book. Even when I had the time, I was exhausted and needed to recharge.

So, I held off on promoting my book, preferring instead to submit the book to a couple of contests. Those submissions didn't take too much time and were tasks I could punch out from the couch while watching SportCenter.

I'm glad I did do at least that because it earned my book and Honorable Mention in a Writer's Digest contest, praise from Publisher's Weekly, and a spot in the semifinals of Amazon's Breakthrough Novel Awards, where I was one of 50 people who advanced through a field of 5,000.

I'll cover each of these in a separate post, but for now, I just wanted to say: I'm back!

Kalamazoo!

Christopher

Happy Birthday Aiden!

2010-05-02T19:09:00.000-07:00

Wow, seven years old today. Happy birthday buddy! You're always in my thoughts.

Kalamazoo!

Christopher

Now On Sale! Onyx Sun Book 1

2009-05-02T18:10:00.000-07:00

Finally!

After several years of writing, editing, searching for agents, not getting agents, looking for publishers, getting rejected by publishers, deciding to self-publish, designing the artwork with Rudy, editing the manuscript, publishing advance review copies, getting a great review from the #1 reviewer on Amazon, reading in classes, having kids tell me how much they love the book, editing the book again, working with typesetters, corresponding with young fans of the book, sending the book to the printer, and then waiting...

...my book, The Incredible Origins of the Onyx Sun, is finally done and available for sale to the general public!

If you've ever been a fan, read one of the advance review copies, like helping struggling authors, or are dying to get your hands on what one reader called his "favorite book after Lord of the Rings" (true quote), please head on over to www.onyxsun.com where you can securely use PayPal to purchase a copy! You can also order it on Amazon, but people who order directly from onyxsun.com get 10% off a copy personally signed by yours truly. Plus, I only get $1 per book from Amazon, while I make a good deal more from orders direct from my site.

The final hardcover is very exciting because it has:

36 original illustrations - one at the top of every chapter!
Printed endpages with schematics of the Onyx Pioneer on the front and the Citadel Spire on the back
An exclusive epilogue, not available on the Advance Review Copies
A completely new first chapter
A unique launch code to give readers access to an online copy of the text where they can edit the entire book and share edits with friends!

Thanks to everyone who has helped make this a reality!

Kalamazoo!

Christopher

P.S. - Happy birthday Aiden! You inspired this book many years ago buddy!

53 New Fan Letters

2009-03-02T13:17:00.000-08:00

On February 9th, I did my first school reading at Redding Elementary in San Francisco. It was funny going into it, because I was a little nervous. I've done dozens of speaking engagements in seven different countries for my real job, some in front of hundreds of people, but the prospect of speaking to twenty kids in my own town about my book somehow got me more jumpy. I guess when speaking to adults, I generally know what to expect, but it's been about twenty years since I've been in a classroom speaking to Fifth Graders.

After all the build-up though, the day seemed to go really well. I spoke with three classes, and each really seemed to enjoy my talk. I described what inspired me to write my book, how long it took, what skills I learned in school that helped, and finished with a reading of the Prologue. Throughout the process, I showed the students pictures of my book as it evolved from manuscript, to 2,500 edits, to advance review copy, to final book. I also showed them how the artwork in the book evolved from drafts to finished material. The students at Redding were very engaging and asked great questions.

My favorite part was at the end of the second and third classes. At the end of the second, right when I finished my reading, one of the girls in the back of the class pushed her chair back, threw her arms in the air, and exclaimed, "THAT WAS SO SWEET!" It made me laugh because her reaction was so genuine. At the end of the third class, one boy raised his hand and waved it in the air frantically until I called on him. Then he said, "Mr. Mahoney, that is the BEST book I have ever read!" Hahaha. What great kids. They kept me smiling and helped stoke the excitement I feel finally being on the "speaking circuit".

A couple of weeks later, I returned home to find a package stuffed in my mailbox from one of the classes. In it was a wire-bound book of 53 letters from the kids. This gesture was so touching and while I'd love to display all of the wonderful letters, I had to select just a few that I could fit here.

To Mr. Toy's class: thank you! You are a wonderful, insightful, and genuinely intelligent class. I appreciate your letters!

Kalamazoo!

Christopher

Great Review from Amazon's #1 Reviewer!

2009-02-02T09:49:00.000-08:00

More good news on advance reviews of my book. Harriet Klausner, the #1 Reviewer on Amazon (using the former ranking system, which has recently changed) has given The Incredible Origins of the Onyx Sun a glowing review!

An excellent middle school science fiction thriller starring an intriguing hero! The story line is action-packed and filled with twists. Zack is a terrific role model as he and his grandfather encourage children to see each day as a fun, puzzle-filled adventure. Young adults will enjoy flying to the Moon, controlling giant robots, and saving the Earth alongside Zack and his exciting friends.

- Harriet Klausner

It's exciting to see she enjoyed it, as well as other recent early reviewers.

On the final book publication date front: I have narrowed it down to two publishers and am negotiating between them. The company I want to go with is about $1,000 more expensive. So, I am exploring my options with the second company while trying to get the first to give me a more competitive quote. Should not be long now until I can commit to a final launch date!

Kalamazoo!

Christopher

Book Launch Update

2009-01-10T08:38:00.000-08:00

Just a quick update: I have gotten bids from three printers on how much it will cost and how long it will take to print the final version of The Incredible Origins of the Onyx Sun. I am going to review them this week, negotiate in a few points, then select a final printer.

Once that is done, I will - finally - have a firm date for my book launch! Will post more information as soon as I have it.

Kalamazoo!

Christopher

More News from Young Onyx Sun Fans

2009-01-09T11:07:00.000-08:00

I thought this would be fun to share: the 4th grade class that wrote to me about how much they liked my book continues to share their thoughts with their community.

You can read more here: http://www.rhnet.org/popup_info.cfm?story=2730

Thanks again Mr. Titus and class for letting people know how much you enjoyed my book!

Kalamazoo!

Christopher

DONE!

2008-12-12T08:25:00.001-08:00

As of right now, I have finished all the edits on my book. I have forwarded the comments to my typesetter who has already updated the proof and sent a draft back to me. This draft had a couple of errors, but the typesetter seems to be able to turn things pretty quickly.

Soooooo...

...I am almost at the point where I can announce and lock-down a firm book launch date.

Steps I need to take to finalize a date:

Finalize the proof - Today
Receive final, print-quality proof - 12/16/2008
Get quotes & time estimates from printers - 12/19/2008
Negotiate print job with one printer - 12/22/2008
Get final print schedule - 12/30/2008
Announce book launch date - 12/30/2008
Print the book on time!

Exciting!

Of course, this is far from all I have to do to produce the final book. Beyond those tasks, I have to:

Get reviews for the jacket art
Edit the jacket art, including adding copy about me, the price, SKU, barcode, new artwork dimensions, and teaser copy
Make decisions about the paper stock, cover stock, and hardcover binding
Find a system for hidden randomly generated barcodes to work for the "Like this section?"
Develop the Create Your Own Story section on the Onyx Sun site (HUGE...at least two months work)
Update Amazon, Goodreads, and personal web site information with correct book data including final launch date.

Still, having this amount of work to finish doesn't dissuade me so much as excite me. Feels good to be making real progress at last.

Kalamazoo!

Christopher

What's Taking So Long???

2008-12-04T09:52:00.000-08:00

A few people have asked me when my book is coming out, and what the heck is taking so long. While I have been pushing very hard to get my final book out quickly, I have been extremely picky the last few months with my edits. As noted previously, I made 2,500 edits before I sent the "final" manuscript to the typesetter. Then, when I got the proof back, I felt compelled to re-read the book again and I am glad I did. I found twenty more grammatical errors.

Yikes! :)

Anyway, I know even professionally produced books have errors, but since I am self-publishing the Onyx Sun, and self-published books are generally frowned upon as "low-quality", I am being a *tad* obsessive about finding and eliminating any element of my book that makes it anything less than top notch.

The good news, is I am VERY close. I have proofread 200 of the 314 pages and am able to do about 50 pages a day lately. Which means hopefully by the end of the week, I'll have this done.

I don't want to commit to a date yet for the final book launch, because I have before, and I ended up breaking those promises. So, at this point, please know I am working as fast as possible, and I remain committed to developing a quality piece of fiction first and foremost, even if that means it takes a little longer.

Thank you all for your patience! In the meantime, please check out some of the exciting new feedback I have been getting from early reviewers by mail and on Goodreads.com. The word is spreading!

Kalamazoo!

Christopher

My Letter Back to My Recent New Fans

2008-12-02T19:32:00.000-08:00

So, as noted in my previous entry, "Great Letters from Recent Fans" I have gotten a bunch of letters from a 4th grade class in New York about my book. They were very considerate to write me and tell me what they thought of my book, and I thought I'd share with everyone here my appreciative response.

Mr. Titus’ Class
Sherman Elementary School
50 Author’s Avenue
Henrietta, NY 14467

Tuesday, December 2, 2008

Dear Mr. Titus and class,

Wow! Thank you for your letters! I very much enjoyed reading your thoughts on my book, The Incredible Origins of the Onyx Sun. I enjoyed each of your letters and shared them with my friends and family. Everyone commented on how well written each letter is and how insightful your feedback is. As an author, nothing makes me happier than hearing from readers like you. Your feedback about what you like and don’t like gives me just the insight I need to perfect the final book and to write even better sequels!

Many of you asked if the book will be made into a movie. I hope so one day! Between us, I always had George Clooney in mind when I wrote the Commander Chase character. Wouldn’t it be great to see him in an Onyx Sun movie! Professor Goodspeed, Zack, and the other characters were more a mixture of different people I know or characters I have read in other books. I even took a bit of Grandfather’s wackiness from Doctor Brown in the movie Back to the Future. Do you guys know that movie? That’s the funny thing about being an author: as you write, movies, books, and even real people you know find their way into your story. In some ways, Zack is actually me when I was about your age. I always wanted to find a spaceship hidden in my backyard. Who do you guy find interesting from books, or movies, or your own life? How would you put them in a story? What would those characters do? Would they be weird, or funny, or sad, or athletic? What unique traits would they have? The number one thing people like to read about are people that interest them. That’s why I was so happy you liked the strange, funny, adventurous characters I created!

Several of you also mentioned that you enjoyed the Mech battles. Those were fun chapters for me to write. I’m not sure where I got the idea for gigantic robots, but I know a few video games I’ve played in the past had similar robots. I took that idea and changed it to make it unique and reflect ideas I had. It’s funny when you write that often you don’t know how things will turn out as you are writing. I generally have a broad outline beforehand, but often ideas pop onto the page as I am writing! That is a fun experience because then I surprise myself and get to live the adventure too as I am creating it!

A couple of you mentioned that I should put more pictures in the book. I agree! When the final version of my book comes out this February, it will have thirty-six original drawings: one for each chapter and a special, large picture of the Citadel Spire on the title page. The final book will also have an epilogue called The Dawn of War, which previews the action coming in the sequel. So far, I have only written seventy pages of the sequel, The Wicked Adversaries of the Onyx Sun, but I spend time each day working on it. For now, I have included in this letter a sneak preview of some of the pictures that will come out this winter with the final publication of my first book. The included pages are called “folios” since they are loose drafts of the final pages of my book. Right now, I am reviewing these folios and finalizing the images and text. Since many of you seemed to enjoy the Mech battles, Moon scenes, and struggles with Machvel, I picked folios that match your interest. You can see more on my web site at www.onyxsun.com.

I notice your school is on Author’s Avenue. That seems like a quite a coincidence for a class that is clearly talented in reading and writing! I hope you enjoy the enclosed materials, and we can keep in touch about your future readings and writings. Thank you again for your wonderful letters.

Kalamazoo!

Christopher

Great Letters from Recent Fans

2008-11-20T10:30:00.000-08:00

This is just wicked, as Angelina would say.

I got a package in the mail last week from a class of 4th Graders who had read my book. Apparently, one of my early reviewers forwarded my book to a friend who teaches this class. He read the entire book to his students over several sessions (impressive) and then had each write me with their thoughts.

This is the most touching gesture yet from the growing list of people who have read and enjoyed The Incredible Origins of the Onyx Sun. I especially loved the fact that they enjoyed the Mech battles and could see my book being made into a movie. One can hope!

I have included a few of their letters below. To protect their privacy, I have blanked out some of their personal information.

To the class of Sherman Elementary: if you read my blog, thank you, thank you, thank you!

Kalamazoo!

Christopher

Space Exploration Today...Simply Incredible

2008-11-14T23:14:00.000-08:00

One of the Last Space Shuttle Launches from Christopher on Vimeo.

So, typically my blog posts are about writing my book, The Incredible Origins of the Onyx Sun. But tonight it's about part of what inspired my book: space travel today.

In our day-to-day lives, it's easy to overlook or even dismiss what NASA is doing. Sure they launch shuttles and build space stations, but what do we care about that during financial crises and political debates? Admittedly our travails on Earth are often too hard to worry about our next steps in space. But if you step away from your personal challenges for a moment and consider what NASA's mission represents - our future beyond Earth - it becomes immediately amazing that we live in an age when we actually can reach the stars. One day, if we maintain the broad strokes of our current path, it is a virtual certainty that some of us will live off-planet. We will have Moon bases, and space stations, and maybe even Mars bases. Think about that for a second...in the next hundred years, humans may be born on other planets or on space stations!

What we can learn from this as humanity extends its reach is incredible. These are tentative baby steps to be sure, but they can only lead to a future where man lives on other worlds even further beyond ours. Planets that are perhaps just as habitable as ours. How then will financial crises look or political debates when there are multiple planets to consider. Surely, things will be more complex, but what we learn in that process may solve many of our current dilemmas. For instance, would the world be falling into recession right now if more of our planet was dedicated to shipping goods off world to Earth colonies that can't produce everything themselves? Would oil be so expensive if we were able to import it or other resources (hopefully clean-burning) from other planets? Honestly, who knows? But I do know we've always benefited as a species by having more options. Space represents literally infinite options.

In the end, I believe what we learn and gain in moving off our planet will push humanity to a new level of existence. Problems won't cease, but old problems will give way to new ones that hopefully will be more manageable than previous ones, just like our crises now pale in comparison with those of times like the Great Depresssion. Think about us now compared to cavemen. We clearly have our own problems, who complains about living in caves or not having fire to cook a meal anymore? If we hold this trajectory, space is the next logical step for the betterment of us all.

So space travel will one day help us move to a higher plane of existence and I was happy tonight to be able to be a part of experiencing it. I watched NASA launch STS-126 from Cape Canaveral at 7:55 PM during one of the last night launches of the Shuttle's last 10 total launches.

It was nothing short of awe-inspiring.

Sadly, the humidity in the air made the video blurry, but in-person I can tell you honestly few things have touched me as deeply. And while I couldn't phrase then what I felt, I couldn't deny the significance of the moment as waves of shivers overcame me during the final countdown and launch of the next phase of our off-world explorations. This is the pinnacle of our achievement as a species. A climactic expression of our political stability, economic and technological prowess, and courage as a people.

It is partly this inspiring vision of our future that led me to write the first book of the Onyx Sun, and I already can't wait to watch future generations take up the mantle and make it a reality for us all.

Kalamazoo!

Christopher

Editing Book Proofs

2008-09-15T18:54:00.000-07:00

I got my first sample of what the book will look like from my typesetter last Friday. Exciting! It's amazing to see all the components of the book come together. At last, what has been in my mind is on paper for me to see and hold.

I included a couple of images below to show you how it's coming along. I have some feedback scrawled in the margins for the things that need to change, but this should give you the rough effect.

Kalamazoo!

Christopher

The Files Are Off To The Typesetter!

2008-09-08T22:46:00.000-07:00

Well...FINALLY! My edits to The Incredible Origins of the Onyx Sun, Book 1 of the Onyx Sun series, are finally complete.

I finished the final edits late tonight to my 12th revision to my first book. (Whew.)

So, given the typesetter said it would take about three weeks to typeset, my files should be ready for the printer by September 29, 2008.

If that date holds, and my printer's estimation of 8 weeks for printing is correct, that would put my final published book date at November 24, 2008. Right before the Christmas holiday! Excellent.

It's amazing to feel an over three year journey come to an end. It's even more amazing...no...exciting to know now I can embark on promoting the book and working on the sequel!

Kalamazoo!

Christopher

Three Years...

2008-08-24T14:39:00.000-07:00

Today roughly marks (since I don't remember the exact date I wrote the first word) three years of working on my first novel, The Incredible Origins of the Onyx Sun. What an amazing journey it's been. From writing the first word in Cambridge, MA...

...to finishing the first 80,000-word draft in Palo Alto, CA...
...to nine rounds of edits...
...to soliciting eleven agents...
...to the months of waiting for responses...
...to Writers House initial interest...
...to ultimate rejection by WH and the ten other agents...
...to deciding to self-publish to prove the market demand for my book...
...to working with Rudy on the initial cover drafts and character sketches...
...to copyrighting my book...
...to getting a SKU...
...to listing my book in Bowker's Books-in-Print...
...to finding my first typesetter...
...to letting my first typesetter go after an unacceptable end deliverable...
...to finding another typesetter...
...to soliciting fifteen printers in the US...
...to narrowing the list to three and negotiating a lower price between them...
...to picking one and excitedly waiting six weeks for my advance review books...
...to losing my cool when one of the printing machines broke...
...to learning not to ever lose my cool...
...to receiving 1,000 advance review books late at night in a friend's garage...
...to beginning the onerous but rewarding process of finding 500 reviewers to read and review my book...
...to the months of sending out over 500 books...
...to receiving feedback from hundreds of readers, young and old...
...to receiving some glowing feedback on my book ranging from "One of my favorite books besides Lord of the Rings"...
...to an entire 4th Grade Class's favorable review...
...to pre-orders of fifteen books for one reader (a teacher) alone...
...to integrating this feedback into three additional full edits of the entire book...
...to realizing the Onyx Sun is the only book I've ever read twelve times...
...to also realizing I don't mind editing that much when it makes my book better...
...to working with Rudy to craft 36 new images for the inside of the book (one for each chapter and a few at the start)...
...to also working with Rudy to design the web site imagery...
...to days spent coding the entire web site myself...
...to writing a new epilogue exclusive to the final hardcover...
...to working with my advance review book typesetter to typeset the final hardcover...
...to watching my book return to me in final digital form with all the proper typesetting, SKU numbers, and images, ready for printing...
...to re-soliciting quotes from nine printers this time...
...to evaluating their responses...
...to now.

Clearly, it has been a long journey from that first word to now, where I stand on the threshold of printing my final book. Much remains...

...to finish the dynamic sections of the site...
...to finalize a printer...
...to adjust the cover to fit the new dustjacket...
...to wait two months for the printed books....
...to create marketing collateral and press releases and...
...to line up speaking engagements while I wait for the books...
...to spread the Onyx Sun as far as possible...
...to use this popularity to sign a publisher/agent and...
...to grow the Onyx Sun universe through at least four more books!

I am as excited for the road ahead as I am proud of the path behind me. This is one of the longest but most personally rewarding projects I've ever worked on. It just gets harder from here as I invest more time, money, and faith in the potential popularity of my book, but the all the positive early feedback I've received is pushing me forward. In many ways, the arduousness of this journey is solidifying my focus and passion as each milestone conquered make each future one seem more attainable.

On to a wider audience and the expansion of the Onyx Sun universe!

Kalamazoo!

Christopher

Are We There Yet? Revised Book Launch Date

2008-07-22T20:00:00.000-07:00

PLEASE NOTE. NEW BOOK LAUNCH DATE:
NOVEMBER 2008

Well, unfortunately, I have to push back the publication date of my book one more time. See, when I published my advance review books, I found a few grammatical mistakes, which is common in advance releases. However, as I went through the book picking out the bad syntactical apples, I found myself editing the rest of the prose.

All of it. 80,000 words over 265 pages.

I pruned extra sentences. I honed dialog. I tightened each phrase.

With an average of 10 sentences changed per page, that's over 2,500 edits! Yikes. I've included a picture of one example page above.

The upshot of this arduous task is that while my book should have been at the typesetter and printer, it was in my hands being tweaked one final time. Normally, were my writing a full-time pursuit, I would have finished this in under a week. But with a full-time job that has recently included trips to Japan and Korea, I have averaged more like 10 pages every other day. Hence, my two-month delay.

I apologize to everyone who has been waiting anxiously for the final hardcover books to release! I do promise the story of the first Onyx Sun book will be much better as a result of my efforts. In the meantime, I have included a couple more chapter sketches from inside the hardcover to appease your appetite.

For now, I am not committing to a specific day for the hardcover launch, because that will depend on the time frames I get from typesetter and printer (two different companies) in the coming weeks. However, I can say I am shooting for November.

If you just can't wait for the book to release and would like me to read for your classroom or book group, or would just like a copy of one of the advance review books, please feel free to email me on this page:

http://www.onyxsun.com/contact.html

Kalamazoo!

Christopher

New Onyx Sun Web Site

2008-06-11T19:43:00.000-07:00

Well, I have finished the second of my three weekly goals for my working-vacation: publish a new and complete Onyx Sun web site.

Check it out at: www.onyxsun.com

Overall, I am pretty happy with the site. I have plans to add a lot more features, but since finishing my book has to be my priority right now, this site will do. I'll have more time later to update it while I wait for my typesetter and printer to finish their respective jobs (about two months of work when I can be doing other things). This site is a marked step up from the last site, which I never had time to finish and had more dead links than Larry King has guests.

Of course, the feature of the site I am most excited to develop is the "Create Your Own Onyx Sun Story" section. I've gotten a lot of great feedback from teachers, parents, and kids that this is the section they are most looking forward to. So, for my readers checking my site to find out when that feature is coming, please know I'll be working on it right after my final edits are done (hopefully this week) and should have more to report soon!

Kalamazoo!

Christopher

My First Work Vacation

2008-06-09T07:07:00.000-07:00

I am doing today something I never thought I'd do:

I am working on vacation.

True enough. I am. I'm sitting at a San Francisco cafe down the street from my house, working on the Never-ending Book Edits. I'm sixty pages into the twelfth revision of my manuscript. Only 120 more Word pages to go.

Usually I am the guy who shuns people who work on vacation. My friends who bring Blackberries on our trip Greece..."A plague upon their white-washed house!" in the form of bad reception, I say. If you want to work, work. If you want to play, play. You accomplish neither by trying to do both. I once read that people who run with their cell phones generate fewer endorphins than those who don't. See. There's proof your body wants you to soak up your time off.

So, why am I working on vacation? Actually, I am on vacation SO I can work. This dual-life thing of putting 50-60 hours in at Second Life then working on my manuscript nights and weekends has been taking its toll. So, I took some time I've accrued (I've only taken one vacation in the last three years) and put it toward a week to myself and my book.

And I gotta tell ya, although it's no Santorini, sitting here with my coffee, my words, and the early morning mist is relaxing in its own right. The only way I can justify this time off though, when I could be visiting lands unknown, is if I deliver the goods at the end. So, this week, I have three goals:

Finish the Never-ending Book Edits so I can send my manuscript and the interior artwork off to my typesetter.
Finish building the marketing (non-database driven) pages of the Onyx Sun web site.
(If I have time) Do all the miscellaneous tasks I've been putting off, like mailing out more of my books, contacting more potential reviewers, and updating the Pariah Publishing email newsletter list.

So, off I go!

Kalamazoo!

Christopher

Round Three: Letters to Editors and Agents

2008-05-19T17:47:00.000-07:00

Well, it is with conflicting emotions I have decided to embark on a third round of submitting my manuscript to agents and editors. I'm conflicted because on one hand I have really enjoyed the self-publishing process, as arduous as it has been. On the other hand, having an agent or editor could really take my book to the next level.

I have learned a ton from the process of getting my own ISBN, registering my book on Amazon, promoting it with children, networking with teachers, hiring and managing a designer, working with a typesetter, etc. In many ways, I am looking forward to seeing the fruits of my own labor when the hardcover is produced. I imagine it has to be rewarding to see people react to my book, exactly as I want it to be, knowing I was engaged in every stage of the process.

Still, if there is one thing I have learned from self-publishing, it is that it's a lonely, expensive, up-hill battle to get people's attention. I think the Onyx Sun has had a positive response so far. Heck, just the GoodReads page alone makes me proud. But there's no denying an established agent or editor could scale my efforts to a level I may never be able to. That's the benefit of working within the industry, even if you have to give up a decent amount of control.

I'm probably getting a little ahead of myself. Just because I am submitting my manuscript to a new battery of people doesn't mean it will be accepted. I can always evaluate taking on an editor/agent if the opportunity presents itself. And honestly, if it doesn't, self-publishing has had enough of its own rewards to keep me pushing.

Kalamazoo!

Christopher

Happy Birthday Aiden!

2008-05-02T16:21:00.000-07:00

Five years old! I can't believe it.

Revised Hardcover Launch Date

2008-04-28T20:19:00.001-07:00

The launch date of my book is moving back a little from May 2, 2008 to August 2, 2008 for some exciting reasons:

My illustrator, Rudy Hall, has agreed to include 35 more illustrations inside the final version of The Incredible Origins of the Onyx Sun. I can't tell you how excited I am to include more of Rudy's amazing artwork inside my book! Rudy will create one thumbnail sketch for the beginning of each chapter and one cover page for the inside of the book, all depicting more of Zack's adventures with his friends. I have included a sneak preview of his latest work here. I hope you enjoy! The wait will be worth it!

I am also adding an epilogue to the story that will only appear in the debut publication of the hardcover. For the first time readers will have the chance to learn more about what happens at the end of the story, and get a preview of what's to come in the sequel, The Wicked Adversaries of the Onyx Sun!

You can pre-order the book during the wait on Amazon. Also, for anyone who can't wait, I have a few advance review paperbacks I am happy to send people for free in exchange for a review on Amazon or GoodReads! The review copies don't have the epilogue or the interior illustrations and do have a few grammatical errors like typical pre-publication review copies. However, the story is almost exactly the same for anyone excited about getting into the world of the Onyx Sun right away. So far, in fact, I've had over 300 people read and review the book! Just contact me if you'd like me to send you, your child, student, or friend a complimentary copy!

And look for my book on retailer shelves and on Amazon Wednesday, August 2!

Kalamazoo!

Christopher

300 Review Copies Shipped!

2008-04-22T21:48:00.000-07:00

Today, I crossed the 300 review copies shipped mark. There are now officially over 300 reviewers, friends, family, teachers, students, retirees, and industry press people with copies of my book in their hands.

I've already started to see some buzz growing on the Onyx Sun Goodreads page, where I am encouraging people to go until Amazon unlocks the review feature for my book. Since the copy of my book that is out is "pre-publication" (i.e. designed for reviewers, not general consumption...yet), Amazon will wait until my final, hardcover book comes out before they allow people to review my book on their site.

Thanks to everyone who had contributed so far! It is exciting to see so many positive comments on Goodreads! It's great to know you're all enjoying the book. It encourages me to send more review copies out!

Kalamazoo!

Christopher

The Advance Review Copies Are Here!

2007-11-20T18:39:00.000-08:00

My preview books have finally arrived! I am so excited! It is an amazing thing going through the three-year process of writing a story, editing it, setting the type, working with an illustrator, registering the copyright, getting an ISBN and barcode, and then finally seeing it all in tangible form! It is a surreal experience holding the advance review paperbacks, seeing my character's names on paper, and turning back Rudy's incredible cover to read the story.

I printed about 1,000 advance review copies. This is far more than most publishers print for a book, but I wanted to spread my book far and wide to gain the maximum amount of review attention possible before the final hardcover comes out. I'll be giving these books away for free to anyone who is honestly interested in reading and reviewing them. So, feel free to contact me through my blog with your mailing address if you'd like one.

While I am sending these books out for review, I'll be simultaneously working on the finalized book and the book web site. The final book, text-wise, will be very similar to these advance review copies, except that it will be free of grammatical mistakes. Advance review copies like these paperbacks (also called galleys) commonly do have mistakes in them as they are "pre-publication" books rushed to advance reviewers to generate buzz ahead of a complete editorial review. So, I'll be re-reading the book for a twelfth time this month to see what horrifying errors I missed on my eleventh review. It's a good thing I enjoy the story! :)

I'll also be working on the web site which has some cutting-edge functionality to be announced soon. I plan to include games, more of Rudy's drawings from the story, and a special "members only" section of the site for people who own the book.

In the meantime, I'm just reveling in having a tangible copy of my book in my hands!

Kalamazoo!

Christopher

Happy Birthday Buddy!

2007-05-02T16:18:00.000-07:00

Happy birthday Aiden. Wow! Four year old! Miss ya buddy.

My Latest Query Letter

2007-03-24T06:03:00.000-07:00

Although I am self-publishing my book, I do ultimately want to obtain an agent. I keep running across people in this process who may be interested in representing me, if the book sells well through my self-publishing efforts. So, today, I revised my cover letter one more time.

After doing even more thinking about what constitutes a good query letter and focusing on the essence of what I want to communicate, I have revised my query letter to the following.

What I Like About This Letter

The quote in the header: I decided to shift from a quote illustrating the writing style of my book, to a quote from Dr. Ride. I figured her words would carry more import than mine, and that my sample chapters included with my query letter would be adequate examples of my writing style.
Short: This letter is much shorter, obviously. I tried to keep it under a page and make it even less than that.
More relevant experience: Instead of covering each of my barely relevant experiences in one line a piece, like in my previous letter, I decided to focus more on my directly applicable experiences.

What I Don't About This Letter

The messaging of math & science: Although the Onyx Sun series does seem to excite kids about technology, it is less directly apparent how this translates into real math & science education. This link seems a little weak to me, at least until I have the lesson plans I have planned for these subjects available.

--- BEGIN LETTER ---

“Our future lies with today's kids and tomorrow's space exploration.”
- Dr. Sally Ride

Specific Person
Agency
Address
Address

Dear (Agent/Editor’s Name):

Somewhere, right now in the world, the first person to walk on Mars is sitting in an elementary school mathematics class. How closely this child pays attention may determine the fate of humanity’s next great steps in space. Yet, with the United States falling far behind other countries in math and science, this child may not be an American.

The Incredible Origins of the Onyx Sun is a young adult, fictional novel I have written to inspire American children to engage in math and science. It follows the adventures of ten-year-old Zack Goodspeed, who discovers his genius-inventor grandfather has secretly built man’s first interstellar spaceship. By stowing away on this ship, Zack is thrust into a journey that lands him on the Moon, throws him into life-threatening situations, and culminates in his saving humanity itself.

I work for the largest educational software publisher in the United States and wrote this book after personally witnessing the educational pandemic affecting our children. Our competitiveness as a nation is threatened by our kids’ ennui with math and science. Unless we can correct this, countries like India and China will set the world’s agenda.

I have woven my experience inspiring kids to learn into this book. I also have a proven ability to sell educational products to teachers and administrators. My connections, coupled with the book’s content, and a national need for educational engagement will make this book a story kids will enjoy and our country can benefit from.

The Incredible Origins of the Onyx Sun is the first book in a series. I am currently working on the sequel, The Wicked Adversaries of the Onyx Sun.

In my research, you have arisen as a quality source for representation of my completed book. I eagerly await your response. I have queried five other agents simultaneously.

Sincerely,
Christopher Mahoney

The Artistic Process Begins

2006-11-16T06:56:00.000-08:00

Today, Rudy started sending me some concepts for Grandfather Goodspeed (also known as Fyodor, Fy, or Professor Goodspeed). We're doing a "deep dive" on Grandfather Goodspeed's look right now since his face will dominate the cover in the way I imagine it. I think once we nail the way he looks, a lot of the other elements will flow in around him.

I've included here some of the initial sketches Rudy has created. It is so interesting to me how words can be interpreted so differently by people. For, although I think each of these is roughly close to how I envisioned Fy Goodspeed, some are definitely closer. I really appreciate though I am working with someone who is able to envision and capture so many different ideas for what Grandfather should look like from the words I wrote.

I'd love to hear feedback from readers of my blog what they think. I've already polled family and friends and gotten a variety of feedback that has helped my finalize two of these, in my mind, for Fy Goodspeed's look.

Kalamazoo!

Christopher

The Rejection Letters Pour In

2006-11-02T01:36:00.000-08:00

Well, I've been told from the start that rejection is part of the writing process. Today, I believe it. After Writers House turned down my first submission, I decided to cast my net wider and submit to a number of agents, some exclusively, but most simultaneously.

There's a lot of debate in the writing community about what appropriate practices are for submissions (exclusive versus simultaneous) , but I largely decided on the latter due to the time the whole process takes. If you consider that each agent takes two-to-three months (at best) to review your submission package, you're talking about only four to six agents seeing your material in a year. Since I truly believe my book has market potential and am not afraid to self-publish, I decided to accelerate this process by submitting to many agents simultaneously. I figure if I am going to be rejected, I'd like to get that out of the way as fast as possible.

And that's how I ended up with the forest of letters below. To the agents who included a personal note: I appreciate the time you took to write me. I will take your comments to heart.

So, here I am, three months and thirteen rejections later, standing on the verge of self-publishing, excited as hell.

Kalamazoo!

Christopher

Inspiring Tomorrow's Space Explorers: A New Query Letter

2006-08-27T19:29:00.000-07:00

After my rejection last week by Writers House, I decided I need to punch up my query letter to emphasize the business opportunity my book presents.

Although I started writing the Onyx Sun series as a fun book for my son, Aiden, I am realizing it could also encourage kids to engage in math and science through the technologies those subjects enable. My book is replete with technology developed by Zack's grandfather, like large robots, rocketships, and fast jets, which should inspire kids. This is important because I've learned while working at Riverdeep that American kids score lower than almost every other developed nation in math and science scores. I am starting to think my book might be able to help turn the tide.

One of the keynotes at this year's NSTA (National Science Teacher's Association) emphasized during her speech that before we can expect kids to spend long hours pouring over textbooks, we have to inspire them to want to do so. In America we have a strange anomaly compared to the rest of the world whereby math and science are considered geeky. Maybe it's our sport-oriented culture, maybe it's just random, but the fact is kids don't want to study math and science because they don't think it's cool. They are not inspired.

My book can help change that. In an increasingly technological world, I think math and science have to become cooler if we're going to keep up. Gone are the days I grew up in when playing PC games was just for geeks. Now, kids of all ages, as well as adults, play XBox, PS3, and PC games. That's a step in the right direction, and books can help more than they currently are.

When you look at the bookshelves in bookstores today, you see a lot of YA fiction that centers around one of two categories: (1) fantasy or (2) reality. There's little-to-no science-fiction, which is interesting to me because sci-fi straddles these two genres. Sci-fi has a historical precedence of taking crazy ideas and making them reality. The Internet, space travel, genetic engineering...these were all considered science fiction until they gave way to science fact. Issaac Asimov and Jules Verne inspired people who became visionaries like Bill Gates and Richard Branson.

That's what our kids need! They need inspiration in what could exist but doesn't quite yet! I don't care how you slice it, no matter where we head in the next two hundred years, this planet will never see one dragon, elf, or fairy. While those things are fun to read and write about, they will never exist, while walking on Mars, settling the Moon, and exploring outer space will.

So, if we're going to inspire our kids in math and science, let's start reading them books that talk about attainable dreams. We're already exploring space, but we need to inspire them to take today's efforts further. So much awaits us out there: potential motherloads of raw materials, alternative sources of energy, new colonies to develop, etc.

So, it is with this passion and vision for how my book can help this that I have revised my cover letter to the following:

--- BEGIN LETTER ---

Specific Person
Agency
Address
Address

Dear (Agent/Editor’s Name):
I am seeking representation for my young adult chapter novel The Incredible Origins of the Onyx Sun, complete at 83,500 words.

My book follows ten-year-old Zack Goodspeed, after he discovers his grandfather has invented a spaceship powered by an infinite energy source called the Onyx Sun. Stowing away on the ship, Zack is stranded on the Moon, thrown into life-threatening conflicts, and forced to confront an enemy bent on using the Onyx Sun to wipe out all life on Earth.

I believe my book will be popular with young adults for a number of reasons:
- Space 2.0: Children have always loved space. It provides a realm of infinite imaginative possibilities, and now we near a Second Golden Age of Space. Virgin Galactic is creating the first space tourists. A human will walk on Mars. My book is part of these events, which will define the next generation.
- Engagement in Math & Science: We need to inspire American kids to engage in math and science if we are to maintain our international competitiveness. I have designed my book to present plots, characters, and environments that will engage children in the exciting possibilities of technology and space.
- A Series Novel: This book is the first in a series, which will maximize backlist potential. I have already started the sequel: The Wicked Adversaries of the Onyx Sun. Five novels will ultimately comprise the series covering space exploration, colonization, interplanetary war, and first contact with aliens.
- A Familiar Format, an Underdeveloped Genre: With my book, I have used familiar elements from popular young adult novels in an environment (i.e. space) I am passionate about and consider underdeveloped as a mass market genre.
- Relevant to World Events: My book explores terrorism, alternative energy, and internationalism to help young adults understand their lives in a global context.

I have published several articles and poems. I currently work for educational publisher Houghton Mifflin Riverdeep Group and understand how to capture kids’ attention. My business background and education (BA, Northwestern; MBA, Babson) have given me the skills to sell my novel to parents, teachers, and children. I am a member of SCBWI.

In my research, you have consistently arisen as a quality source of representation. I hope you will contact me at your earliest convenience for the entire manuscript.

Sincerely,
Christopher Mahoney

What I Like About This Letter

Makes a full business case: I mention several reasons my book is unique and a good business opportunity. In a bulleted list, these issues are easy to scan and assess.
Synopsis is tight: The book synopsis is concise, perhaps too much so.

What I Don't About This Letter

Too formal: Looks like a business proposal. Is not enough of a compelling story. The bullets especially look business-y.
Too scattered: The fact I didn't focus on just one or two appeals for why my book is so unique looks scatter-shot.

The First Rejection

2006-08-24T23:47:00.000-07:00

Well, after two months of waiting on tenterhooks for Writers House to review my entire manuscript, I heard back today. They were very courteous to give me a personalized write-up of my manuscript, but of course I can't help but be disappointed. I know how hard it is to get published, but for a glimmer of a moment, I thought Writers House initial interest might translate into one of those rarefied occasions when a new author gets picked up immediately.

For posterity's sake, here's the letter:

Kalamazoo!

Christopher

A Hit! An Agent Unexpectedly Responds

2006-06-02T11:21:00.000-07:00

I can't believe the serendipity of what just happened!

Back in April, I sent my newly minted agent submission package (consisting of a query letter, return postcard, and the first three chapters of my book) to Writers House. To me, Writers House is the Harvard of agencies. They have been around for a long time, are consistently mentioned as having the best agents, and represent some of the top authors in publishing. Given all this, I decided to submit to them first and to give them exclusive opportunity to review my work before I submit to any other agent.

Then the long wait began.

For those uninitiated to the trials of being a new author, you would be shocked the lag-time in this industry considering we are well into the Internet Age. It still amazes me that I have turned on multi-million dollar, global web applications to the barrage of immediate feedback, and I still have to wait two-to-four months for one response from an agent. It makes sense that they get overwhelmed by inquiries and have to put an earnest effort into reading each one, but I really wonder sometimes if the Internet could help streamline this effort somehow. This seems on the surface to be an industry in dire need of modernization.

Regardless, time passed, and I fell into that funk of waiting so many authors will tell you they have experienced. It's a strange feeling of quasi-rejection. You're not really rejected during this time, but you're definitely not accepted either. You are in limbo awaiting some stranger's judgment. It's surreal.

But where the serendipity of this all comes in is that during this time, and probably somewhat sooner than I today realized, Writers House had accepted me! I was working from home today when I decided to take the recycling out. We have two blue bins for our recycling. One we use almost all the time. The other we leave outside by the garbage bins, collecting rain water. It's almost like having a house cat, and a mangy outside dog no one ever plays with. So, I decided, in a moment of strange pity for an inanimate object, to switch out the bins. It was time for the dog to come in and the cat to sit out.

That's when I saw it: one of my return postcards, lying at the bottom of the outside bin, damp with this morning's dew. At first, I thought I'd recycled a postcard I'd never sent. After all, in creating the postcards exactly as I wanted, I had printed several "prototypes" to get the custom text on the back of the card just right.

I plucked the postcard from the bin to check. That's when my mild surprise became glee. On the back of the postcard was a voided stamp. This was one that I had sent to an agent and had been sent back! This must be from Writers House since they were the only one I've queried so far.

It was almost too much for me to scan down the back of the card to where I had printed the accept/reject check boxes. But as my eyes fell, my heart leaped. Writers House wanted to see more! I jumped into the air and yelled, much to the surprise of my neighbor watering her plants, then ran inside to call my girlfriend, Kim.

Amazing! Writers House is asking for the entire manuscript, which I'll send first thing tomorrow.

Kalamazoo!

Christopher

Happy Birthday My Boy!

2006-05-02T16:22:00.000-07:00

Three years old. Love ya buddy.

My First Query Letter

2006-03-29T06:58:00.000-08:00

The following, as promised last week, is an example of the first query letter I ever sent out. My letters have evolved until the most recent version. So, I post this for a comparison between where I started, and where I am now.

What I Like About This Letter

The quote in the header: I wanted to make an immediate impression with the tone of the book and my writing style. Agents always say they want the sample chapters to immediately impress them with the writer's unique style and that a writer should include that style in the writing the query letter. I decided to front-load this and integrate some sample text, that doesn't actually appear in the book, into the query letter.
Personal connection: Much of the material I read on writing query letters said you should try to personalize your story to the agent. So, the second paragraph, where I discuss what space meant to me, and means to all kids, I thought achieved that
Closing: It's a little uber-entrepreneurial, but I think the comparison works between trusted networking of investor/advisers and agents/advisers.

What I Don't About This Letter

Length: It's too long. Some of the wordiness in the synopsis and qualification sections could be reduced.
Non-germane credentials: My writing credentials section doesn't contain enough pure writing qualifications. At first I thought showing I could sell a book might grab an agent's attention, but I realized after a while this section should focus on more pure publication qualifications.
Word count: I should have kept it simple. 79,900 words is basically 80,000. Now, I just round up/down to the nearest 1,000.

--- BEGIN LETTER ---

“Who could have guessed the small, black cube that helped man colonize the stars could also be used to wipe out humanity? Whoops. Sorry about that.”

- Geoffrey Gumbean, Chief Research Scientist

Excerpt from the Senate Inquiries into the Uber-abnormal Affairs of the Onyx Sun

Specific Person
Agency
Address
Address

Dear (Agent/Editor’s Name):

I am seeking representation for my young adult novel, The Incredible Origins of the Onyx Sun, complete at 79,900 words.

As a child, I loved the boundless imaginative possibilities the exploration of space offers. These dreams are now becoming reality as entrepreneurs like Richard Branson and Elon Musk lead us back to the stars. Thanks to their efforts, today’s children will be the first generation of citizen-astronauts, and books like The Incredible Origins of the Onyx Sun may inspire them to continue the journey. As Dr. Sally Ride stated, “Our future lies with today's kids and tomorrow's space exploration.” These words were never truer.

The Incredible Origins of the Onyx Sun follows the story of Zack Goodspeed, a fairly average ten-year-old, who discovers his genius-inventor grandfather has secretly built man’s first interstellar spaceship. By stowing away on this ship, Zack is thrust into a series of adventures that land him on the Moon, throw him into life-threatening situations, and culminate in his saving humanity itself.

The Incredible Origins of the Onyx Sun is the first book in a series. I am currently working on the sequel, The Wicked Adversaries of the Onyx Sun.

Book Synopsis
Zack Goodspeed is a perfectly normal ten year-old boy, growing up in a perfectly normal suburb. His friends are all normal. His teachers are normal. His mother and father are practically Mr. and Mrs. Normal. Everything in Zack’s life is exceptionally normal save one thing: his grandfather, Fyodor.

By any measure, Fyodor Confucius Goodspeed is just plain whacked. He towers over most people at six-feet, six-inches tall. He wears only white, because he can’t bother to spend time matching his pants to his shirt to his socks. He stumbles about, distracted by inner thoughts, like someone who just learned to walk.

Yet, Fyodor is an incredible genius who has just built man’s first interstellar spacecraft powered by a small, black cube called the Onyx Sun. The Onyx Sun is Fyodor’s greatest invention. The Onyx Sun provides unlimited power. The Onyx Sun whisks Zack away on a series of adventures into space.

Freed from his earthbound normalcy, Zack walks on the Moon, meets bold, new friends, and learns how to pilot skyscraper-sized robots called “Mech Leviathans”. Ultimately, he saves humanity from Dr. Ian Machvel, an antagonist whose one aim is to pervert the Onyx Sun into a weapon of mass destruction. In the process, Zack faces many issues relevant to today’s young people, including confronting terrorism, gaining self confidence, and appreciating one’s family.

Credentials
I have been writing stories since I was eight. At Northwestern University, I studied economics but found Atlas Shrugged struck me deeper than Keynesian economics.

I have published a poem which appeared in Summer Shade: a Collection of Modern Poetry. Until recently, I managed a literary company called Pariah Publishing (www.pariahpublishing.com), where I gained insight into the dynamics of good writing through personally reviewing and critiquing over 400 manuscripts. I am currently a Product Manager for Riverdeep, an educational software developer, where I frequently interact with children in my book’s target demographic.

I am an MBA graduate of Babson College, the #1 School for Entrepreneurship in the US, where I won the prestigious Price-Babson Fellowship and conducted research under Stephen Spinelli, the man who built and sold Jiffy Lube. Accordingly, I understand the business commitment required to launch successful ventures, like a new book. I also co-edited publications from the tenured professors during this time.

Agency Representation
Much as an entrepreneur seeks investors who can provide business acumen as well as financing, I am looking for an agent who can provide credible feedback on my work as well as representation. In my research, you have consistently arisen as such a source. I wish to submit my manuscript to you and (agency name here...in this case, as my first choice, it was Writers House), exclusively and foremost.

Sincerely,
Christopher Mahoney

How to Write Query Letters That Don't Suck

2006-03-24T17:21:00.000-08:00

I have entered into a whole new, more challenging part of the writing process: writing a query letter that doesn't suck. If you are a new writer finishing up your first manuscript, just wait...you thought it was hard to press through those lackluster chapters, find words when they wouldn't come, or make your story hold together believably? Nope, that was just the warm-up. Writing query letters...that's when the real "fun" begins.

In writing a book, the author is quite often the sole gateway to what content is placed on the page and how much of it. In writing a query letter though, you have to take all that content and boil it down to a one-page letter that is interesting and unique. The agent runs this game and the trick is standing out from the crowd since they see thousands of query letters a year, each claiming to be from the author of the next Da Vinci Code.

To kick-off this process, I read a few books recommended to me by writer friends as well as more than a few Writer's Digest articles on the subject. The best of the books was How to Write Attention Grabbing Query & Cover Letters, which puts aside the infomercial veneer too many books in this genre take on in favor of practical, concise suggestions for writing great query letters. It also includes some example query letters, which I found interesting but wasn't quite sure they would fit my book or writing style.

Next, I went a little nuts. I wrote sixteen versions of my first query letter over a year before I sent a single one. Thankfully, I started writing them while I was working on my book so they haven't held up my book going out to agents now the manuscript is done. However, I do think looking back this was overkill. My thought at the time the insanity started was that if I just wrote the right query letter, with the right combination of wit, intelligence, and passion, it would unlock an agent's heart (and phone) and convince her/him to represent me. I used the same overbearing process for the SAT and GMAT and that had worked decently well. But looking back now, although this approach helped me hone my pitch, I probably could have achieved the same goal in half the time, with half as many drafts.

So my advice to anyone going through this process now is:

Read a maximum of two short books and three articles on the subject. Companies will always try to tell you to read more, but...hey...that's because they're often trying to sell you more books on this topic. Unfortunately, writers are kinda suckers on anything that can help us get an agent or a publisher, because quite often we're desperate to get one!
Write up to ten drafts, but no less than five distinctly different ones
Get them out as fast as possible. You're going to be waiting a long time for agents to write back. So, you might as well rush to the wait.

As far as what to put in a query letter, I have had the most success with the following guidance from the material I've read as well as my own experiments:

Be Natural: Make the tone of the letter casual, like you are talking to a friend. Think about how many letters agents and publishers get addressed to "Dear Sir". They probably read more letters than Stanford admission officers, most from people with formal offers for the next Harry Potter (riiiiight) that they have to "BUY NOW!". Skip all that hype and standoffish hoopla. Just write your idea down on paper as you would write a friend. That alone will distinguish you.
Be Concise: If you hear one thing about agents, it's that they have no time. Don't add to the burden; reduce it. Try to make your letter shorter than one page. Use this straight-forward template:

Open with a simple statement you are looking for representation for your completed manuscript. (If it's not completed, you shouldn't be writing.)
Specify in the first two sentences the genre and the title.
Use the first paragraph to summarize the plot. Give the whole plot, including the ending. Agents aren't your readers. They don't care about spoilers. They want to know how the whole story flows before they can judge if it's even worth reading.
Use the second paragraph to list your qualifications. Do you have subject matter expertise? What have you written before? If you don't have any writing credentials, get some. Write anywhere third-parties will let you. Publish an article for your local newspaper. Do book reviews. Just get your name and your unique voice out there. Then list is in this paragraph as a qualification, within reason. Don't just list a bunch of self-published drivel no one reads.
Wrap-up with a short statement about why you are soliciting this particular agent or publisher. What authors that she/he represents do you like?

Even after going through this, I don't purport to be an expert. This is just what I've found works better than other query letters I've written. With my first query letter, I got further interest in my entire manuscript from Writers House, my top choice agency. Although I didn't end up obtaining representation there, I do think the fact they even responded with a personal note to my inquiry showed my query letter had achieved a certain level. I'll include my query letter here soon. Best of luck with yours!

Kalamazoo!

Christopher

The Final Postcards

2006-03-09T18:34:00.000-08:00

Rudy did an excellent job on the return postcard for my query letters to agents. After the conceptual work he did nailing Professor Goodspeed's look, he came up with the final two designs to the left.

After doing an informal poll, it seems like most people I know like both equally. Personally, I prefer the first because it captures Professor Goodspeed's affable nature better, but the sheer detail in the second also draws me in. In fact, the second presents a very powerful environmental scene. I mean, just look at that moon!

However, I want an accurate portrayal of the characters to drive interest in my book. Quite often, it is interesting characters that suck us into new stories. So, since the first is closer to Grandfather Goodspeed, I chose to use that.

The next step is to make the postcard as user-friendly as possible. I had Vistaprint produce a bunch of blank, postcard-size prints with Concept 1 on the front. I am generally not a huge fan of Vistaprint, since I have had a couple of disappointing experiences printing business cards through them. But I figured they couldn't ruin something as simple as this, and they actually did do a nice job and it was inexpensive.

I created a template in PowerPoint for the back copy, attached to the right. It is written from the agent's point of view, since they are the ones returning this postcard. Of course, postage will be affixed as well on the top right.

Overall, I think this is superior to the standard SASE (self-addressed stamped envelop) since it ties into the imagery of the book and even easier for agents to respond since all they need to do is check a box (like those notes in grade school, huh?)

Kalamazoo!

Christopher

Postcard Requirements

2006-02-10T17:02:00.000-08:00

Yesterday, I selected one of my good friends, Rudy Hall, to create my Onyx Sun postcard. Rudy is an incredible artist. I've known him for a few years and always considered him extremely talented. But after graduating from SCAD (Savannah College of Art & Design), he impressed me by starting his own design firm in Chicago with some friends, thus adding to my already copious amount of respect for him.

I'm probably being too formal about this, but after I selected Rudy, I wrote up my requirements for the return postcard I want to include in my query letters to agents. I think my hour-long Caltrain ride from my house in Menlo Park to my job in San Francisco is becoming the most productive part of my day, as that's when I seem to get stuff like this done!

Anyway, I thought this might be interesting to any other writers interested in finding an artist to do something similar. I took this template from similar product requirements documents I have used in my other, daytime, paying job.

Onyx Sun Postcard Requirements

Objectives:

To create a postcard potential agents will use to indicate their interest in reading more of the manuscript The Incredible Origins of the Onyx Sun.
To produce a creative piece as a prototype to creating the jacket art and other design collateral.

Background:
Now that the Onyx Sun manuscript and major revisions are complete, the next stage in getting the book published is for me to find an agent. This involves a fairly lengthy process whereby I send query letters to agents whose focus is on representing young adult (YA) writers. Query letters are typically 1-2 page solicitations to agents that describe the story, introduce the broad plot and characters, build excitement, and (hopefully) interest the agent enough to request a complete manuscript. An example query letter is attached. The ultimate goal is for the agent to agree to represent the author and his/her work to major publishers. Most major publishers today accept manuscripts only from respected agents they often already know.

Process:
The entire query letter process can take 1-3 months per agent. Typically, the best agents get thousands of query letters per year and can only represent a very select few. Most reputable agents request they be the only person reviewing the manuscript at the time. There is unfortunately no way to speed this process up. However, if I am denied by my top picks for agents, I may solicit the rest of the industry simultaneously.

Detail:
The postcard is an item that will be included with the query letter. It will include postage and be addressed back to me at:

Christopher Mahoney
Street Address
San Francisco, CA 94133

On the front of the postcard will be a graphic representing the characters, story, and – most of all – excitement of the story The Incredible Origins of the Onyx Sun. On the back of the card, will be my return address, an area for postage, and an area where the agent can check a box and indicate that he/she is/is not interested in seeing more.

Copy:
The text for the back shall be written from the agent’s perspective and state:

Thank you for your recent letter requesting representation for your young adult novel, The Incredible Origins of the Onyx Sun. At this time:

I am very interested in reading more. Please send me the entire manuscript.
⁯ I am interested, but need more information first. Please send me a few chapters
and a more detailed synopsis.
⁯ I am not interested, but thank you for your inquiry.

Design:

The design should follow these motifs, in order of priority:
True to the visuals of the book
Exciting
Commercial (think: more Harry Potter artwork than comic book)
Art-deco
Space-age, but accessible and understandable to people who are not necessarily fans of science fiction

Delivery:
I can handle the production of the piece. This project is primarily focused on you delivering the artwork for the cover in both a high-resolution electronic format, like EPS, PSD, etc. and by sending me the actual artwork.

Next steps:
Before you commence Rudy, let’s do the following:

Have a phone conversation around:

What visuals grabbed you in the book

What you think about in existing literature or art that reminds you of the theme of Onyx Sun

What you are seeing for design:

What is the “theme”?
Who are the major characters to be shown?
What are the major objects to be shown?

Your impression of the Harry Potter book jackets and how we can borrow some of their success.

How we fit the book title on the postcard. What is the font & other treatment?

Talk about budget, payment terms, and timeframe.

Kalamazoo!

Christopher

Picking an Illustrator

2006-02-03T07:59:00.000-08:00

So now that the first draft of my book is completed, I have begun to search for an illustrator. This is not typically how an author would move forward at this point, since often publishers pick the final illustrator of a chapter novel, but I have two motivations for doing so at this point:

Return Postcard: I want to create a postcard agents and publishers can return to me when I send them my query letters to indicate if they are interested in seeing more of my book. I like this approach because a postcard with an image from my book would be personal and would help introduce the concepts from the Onyx Sun to the agent/publisher I am writing to. Hopefully, the right agent/publisher will see the image, read the sample chapters, and become as excited as I am about the prospects for my book.
Cover Design Preparation: In case my book is not accepted by an agent or publisher - as is often the case for new writers - I plan to self-publish my book and will employ the same illustrator I used for the postcard. That way, the postcard can serve as an introduction to the characters for the illustrator so when we create the cover, he/she is more educated on how to draw the primary characters.

There are a couple of qualifiers I am searching for specifically in this person:

Must accurately represent the imagery in the book
Must have a unique style
Should have a strong work ethic and commitment to deadlines
Must have a portfolio of past work
Should be willing to work on a cash-equity basis

The first two qualifications are interesting because I want to find someone who is capable of balancing the imagery I have described in my book, with their own personal touch. Each artist obviously has a unique style, but I find it is a rare trait to find one that is able to balance that with the unique visuals described in another creative work, like a book.

The last qualification is also slightly different from the way many writers approach self-publishing. Most of the self-published writers I have met have contracted illustrators on a pure cash-basis. Although I could do that, one of the first things I learned in business school was "cash is king". In other words, keeping cash inside your business is on of the most important qualities to keeping your business afloat. It seems like a simple concept, but as we learned at Babson, far too many companies are all to ready to part with their cash in lieu of more creative payment arrangements.

So, I developed a cash-equity payment model where I will give my illustrator 75% of the cash he/she asks for but will negotiate in an "equity" share for the remaining amount. This "equity" will essentially be part of my royalties for each book sold. In order to incentivize the illustrator to be ok with not as much cash up-front, I plan to significantly sweeten the equity share to be far above what the illustrator would have earned from pure cash. For example, if the illustrator I choose to design my book quotes me $1,000 to design my cover, I could counteroffer that I pay $750 up-front, plus a $2 commission per book up to $1,500 in total payments. So that obviously be $500 over what the illustrator cold make on a cash-only basis.

Obviously, I am going to have to find someone who trusts I will deliver on this arrangement. But, in the end, I think this is a significantly better arrangement for both parties: I pay less while I am cash-starved, and the illustrator can stand to make 50% more once the book starts selling. It, in essence, makes us business partners, which I also consider a positive part of this arrangement. It makes us mutually financially interested in the same project instead of just contractor-contractee. In the latter, more common arrangement, the relationship is one more focused on servitude and short-run success. It can also lead to lower quality outcomes, as only one party (the self-published author) is invested in the books success. I took this model from the same process start-up companies use to finance early stages: in lieu of higher wages, give employees equity, which could be worth significantly more in the long-run. Of course, the employee (or illustrator in this case) has to believe in the company founder and the product, but people who know me, know I deliver on my word, and I truly believe my book is a product that can sell...even in the challenging publishing market.

The common expression in the publishing space is "You can't judge a book by its cover, but you can sell it!" If this is truly the case, which it seems to be, why shouldn't a cover illustrator, who holds so much sway on the book's success, be invested and rewarded too?

Kalamazoo!

Christopher

For Aiden

2005-05-02T23:59:00.000-07:00

(Note: I didn't originally write this blog post on the day indicated in the time-stamp, but it's important for me to add it retroactively because every day I've spent since on my book has been built upon the first day I wrote the first word for my son.)

I don't get to see my son, Aiden, as much as I'd like. There are a number of reasons for this I don't care to go into. I mention this more to introduce the idea that my book is - and has always been - a bridge for me to connect with Aiden when I can't see him.

It took me a long time to realize this was the purpose my book served. At first, I just thought I really loved what I was writing. There was some truth in that. I have always been passionate about space. But I have started several books in the past. Why did this one grab me so? What I realized, in my introspection, is a story unto itself. And like all stories, it starts at the beginning...

Genesis
I have never been the guy who wanted a family right away. I always loved my parents, and brother, and extended relations, but having my own family was tantamount to other ambitions.

I wanted to build companies.

I wanted to summit mountains.

I wanted to explore the world.

Those were my top priorities in life until that fateful day I held my son for the first time. People will tell you all kinds of things about what that moment is like for them, but for me, everything changed. Yes, I am prone exaggerations, but this isn't one of them.

Holding my tiny son - only a week old, his eyes shut to the world, his pink body quivering from the cold of life - changed me. Suddenly, there was someone on this Earth, I'd created. It was like building the greatest company in the world, summiting the highest mountain, and suddenly knowing the whole globe. I felt it within myself as clearly as I knew I drew breath. He shook me, and he did so even more because I had to come to terms with his birth very quickly.

So, my life changed. I became more about growing my own strength so Aiden could grow his. I wanted to give him everything he ever wanted as well as some things I never had. I supported him financially, intellectually, spiritually, and emotionally, but I wanted to give him something even more. Something that was unique between just us. So during the long weeks between our times together, I started a story. It was the story of a bright, young boy and his grandfather who he doesn't get to see very much. It was about a special time when they were able to escape reality and come together on a grand adventure. The grandfather taught the boy things. The boy taught the grandfather things.

I'm not sure when I wrote the first word. I know it was shortly before Aiden's second birthday, around the time his mother and my troubles began and it became harder for me to see him. I do remember where it was written and how I felt when I bolted out the first twenty pages in one sitting. I was at Peet's Coffee in Cambridge, MA and from the start I felt that first word form an intimate link to my son I became addicted to. Each word that met paper brought me closer to him. The dialog let me talk to my son when I couldn't. Grandfather hugging Zack became me hugging Aiden when I couldn't. I'd started nine stories before the Onyx Sun, but this was the first I completed, because I became addicted to our bond, our relationship, and our adventures.

Of course, a book is sad replacement for a son, but in a situation with few options, it became a treasured piece of my life. That first word became 80,000 more. Those 80,000 became Aiden and my connection - a connection I nurtured ritualistically, reading through the story twelve times and spending hundreds of hours editing.

That's why, through this entire three-year process, I have known the dedication for my book from the beginning - a dedication that states my son is still the end and beginning of all things for me:

"For my son, and illuminating inspiration, Aiden James."

This blog, this story, this adventure. Every word written, every dollar spent, every step taken. This entire effort is for Aiden. So one day he may hopefully appreciate we always had the most intimate of bonds, even if we weren't always together.

Kalamazoo!

Christopher